Me, myself and the Internet--- Part 2

Now, since u know a little bit 'bout my internet conquests...a little more bout me!
As of now, a simple 20 yr old who you cannot make out from the rest of the crowd. An illusionist, in the sense that people would think that i'm a loner, a "keeps-to-himself" person, only if they knew better, only if i cared more!

This is about "me" ; "myself" and "the internet" will come up later on. Well, where do i start from? I wonder, i mean, ive always wondered what is it, what has been the urge to let people know who we really are. I still cant figure that out as ironic as it may seem. But im an irony unto myself. Guess everyone feels pretty much the same way. We all think we are special, we are; maybe.

I used to be the nice boy, inextricably lost in his books and daily routine that was nothing short of a hectic life. Get up at 5, reach college by 7, and then travel 85-90 odd kms everyday to attend classes. Life was becoming an adventure i never bargained for! And in the midst of all of this, was springing up a boy, a man who would be carving out a mould for himself to fulfill his "must-haves".

All of a sudden, u realise that for a change, you control your life. Its nice to feel that way. The thing with control is that, it is as much an illusion as it is a delusion. Anything beyond that is purely beyond my intellectual abilities to comprehend! Coming back to "me", it felt nice. Life was heading and i seemed to enjoy it! Every step of the way--though i have to say, lifes never been as great as it is now, but somehow, experience teaches you a lot of things--everything that i like. It does'nt get much better.

It is like getting everything that u've ever wanted. Hang out with friends' just seemed to keep getting better. On the academic front i was still very much the same "has'nt proved till yet" boy! Its very frustrating to be that, guess most of you would know!! When these things happen to you and you think that you control life (finally!!), you really dont! All that means is that life is happening too fast, much too fast for you to realise what is happening, and in this moment you live it, and miss out on moments, some of which are the best you might possibly ever have, and then come back to your senses once its all over! Once you've lost it all. Its perhaps similar to a hang-over, i cant be sure though, never had one, luckily or otherwise.

Thats as much about me as im ready to divulge right now, thats as much about me as is necessary for you to correlate my posts to one another. However, must you know more, all i shall say is that, now, looking back and looking down i see myself much better than i ever was. I love the idea of not being in control, letting-it-rip (if you will), "let(ting) the chips fall where they may"....its simply nice. Its so much more nice to know what you want and surrender to it, rather than not know what you want and be illusory that you control everything around you, isnt it?