My beloved Mumbai...Part 1

we all say that mumbai is resilient and will come thru this...im sure the ppl will...

having said that fortunately ive nvr had to be at the wrong end of these acts of terrorism..but i know a few ppl in person, some family frens, who've lost their loved ones...

it happened in the ghatkopar blasts...then the zaveri bazaar blasts..then the train blasts...the best bus' blasts...now these latest...

but to say that mumbai is resilient in the fact that the ppl go to their offices the very next day is to misinterpret the whole situation in the 1st place...theres nothing more insensitive to say about them...this is not resilience...this is helplessness....given the choice (which ive had today) id like to stay home (something that the govt has advised itself...also does make sense) but not everyone has really had the comfort of stayin indoors....

some ppl jst have to go to work as they really have no choice...its what they have to do for a living and with the latest attacks, the whole security system, or the lack of it, is transparently brought out. everyday that i take a train from ccgt to my place at nsp, a 1.5 hrs one-way journey, i do get scared cos u can nvr be sure, if theres a bomb in the train or not. what confidence do we take if our 24X7 patrolled train stations are such soft targets of terrorism?

ive personally seen the metal-detectors...manned posts...but whats the use if these ppl are going to be sloppy or not upto the task?

we've got to look beyond divisive politics...for instance, look beyond the bhaiyya barrier...
politicians divide us, they win our votes on basis like the bhaiyya issue..the SCs, OBCs etc...and we pledge them our votes..
terrorism is no longer confined to the middle east or kashmir or africa...its spreading like a virus...
we have to vote for candidates based on real issues and not issues that stem or originate or culminate in divisive politics.

Strangers

I hate it. I must admit. I hate the fact that some jackass/jenny is lying somewhere (pun intended..this is for you, the one who asked me today) in his house and then using the internet or orkut more synonymously to project himself/herself as(s) the king/queen of the world. I just hate it. I'm sure you do too. But then, come to think of it, maybe thats what I & u do as well. I mean, we write about ourselves in the "about me" of orkut and claim ourselves to be the alpha-male, eternal beauty of the universe. But, thats what orkut, or more so the net is all about. Its about a fat-ass claiming to have washboards, its about a never-been-asked-out claiming to be Miss Universe! Worse, its about fakies.

Its about the ones we could never be, so why not be someone in this world (the net) who we can never be in real world, the real world where flesh sweats, our voice is coarse and face ugly? All this comes from being a part of orkut for the last 2 yrs (almost) now. This sheer frustration of reading profiles where girls have got "no friend requests" and boys have got "i'm cool" templates! Ah, enough is enough. I think its time these sons of bitches and bitches themselves (yes, I said that!) woke up, smelt the coffee and had a nice look in the mirror and saw what everyone else around them sees, nothing!

I hate the way people act so cool on the net. Maybe you think, I'm trying to be one right now, well i don't give a FUCK about what you think. I look like a nice boy. A nice boy I am, but get on my wrong side and Ill brush you tougher than Symonds brushed that streaker! I'm really pissed. I don't know about what. Maybe its about the fact that my friend is delaying my next blog feed....maybe its about having a lot to do, but yet not having the mood to. Maybe its about just being stuck up the whole week, the same routines, an ennui. But, Ill tell you what, stop being a net-dude. Stop the bullshit, or you'll be in it one day! I was not born to be nice to you, neither were you. But as you grow up you realise that you've gotta give everyone their fair chance, even the latest stranger. We grow up and we build friends, orkut is just a place where strangers meet, your closest friends were once strangers, be nice to the newer ones.

Step out of the net-addiction. Step into the real world. Spend time with the ones who care for you, rather than try be super-cool in front of strangers, who are most definitely trying to do the same. Who are we kidding? We're all so different in our real lives. Are we?

How many have you?!

Thinking of Titan are you? So was i. Staring down at my wrist all i could think of was how once my mat finished "Fast Track" watch was now an old, "i-should-scrap this" watch. I could have been flaunting an Armani instead, but thats another story. Then i think of the latest from Titan, the Aviator series, and how awesome that collection would be! Now, with the ones that i've got. Tick. Tick. And so goes my Armani. Oh!Its beautiful. That jade-like dial, diamond studded number-stones, its a joy to watch, pun not intended, but used! I used to sport a Titan before,now, i long for a Vacheron Constantin. Every time i look at my Armani i get lost within its beauty. Its enchanting, and then, all of a sudden, i recover. Stop adoring it and see whats really happening. All of a sudden i see the metaphors. Do you? Have you? I am losing a second at a time. Its very different in the sense that i'm snapping from one reality to another.

Have you ever thought about it? Looked at every second of your life tick away? With every tick of the watch that adorns your wrist, you ARE getting older. You are about 2 minutes older than you were when you started reading this. Now, you are 3! Apply this thought to everything you do, you want to do, you have and you wonder the worth of what you do. Made me wonder why i did that. Do you ask yourself (have you started) that whether what you did was worth every second it took off of your life? Decaying further more. All the time we are getting older, nearing the end, closing-in on death. Are we all, but, running out of time?

We love doing a few things say hangout with friends, watch whatever, do whatever, we just do so many things. But seldom do we realise that everything we do is using up that time of our life, one we have limited, not sure how much though. Would you then feel the urge to do things that are worth it? Would you, then, stop lazying around the house, get up earlier on sundays as well, spend more time with your special ones?

Most of us flow with time. we live one day at a time. A week at the best when we've got big plans shaping up at a weekend, beyond that, not much. We take life as it comes, get out of our teens and think we've become big. Look to make something of ourselves so as to occupy ourselves with for the rest of our lives. Try to get as many luxuries as we can. Dream big really. Its like finding something that can keep us busy and get us what we want till we are. We accept death as the destination of this journey called life. We've accepted it so much so that now everyone knows that they're going to lose the ones they love. If we're all born with a clean slate, then how can each one of us, in our lifetime, understand and accept death. The thing really is, we've only accepted it and to my mind this acceptance on our part and so on the part of the posterity has a lot to do with the failure of those before us to unlock the mystery that surrounds death. We've given up hope that we can live forever, so we then want to live as long as we can, dont we?

I do not understand the concept of death. It works in strange ways, akin to life, really. It might happen expectedly or without a notice. It could be by you for quite sometime and finally embrace you, or it could take you by a storm. You might be down with illness for 6-7 months, try hard, battle it out and finally die, or you could go for an evening stroll and next thing (you dont know) an astronaut falls from the blue above and lands on you! Obviously, you die. Death, they say comes to everyone and in many (many) strange ways. We have accepted it. I guess it does sound practical. I mean, if none of us died, where would we all live? At 6 Bn+ we're already into deforestation, at even more so, where would we be? Besides, to live on forever, is that not boring? And then, what would happen of those who are now immortals only because they're dead? We'd never have them. How would we understand the beauty that life is, if we never knew that we could lose it any moment?

Venturing into myths, Achilles wanted to die as well. He just must have got tired of killing everyone. He understood, perhaps, the tranquility that death brought and the constant fight for survival life had become. He, like Alexander, chose death over life. They died young, both. Alexander idolised Achilles. What is it 'bout dying young that these men understood? Was it the time? Was it the life they lived? What was it? Did they see what we have not? Is it just a matter of time then? People ailing with ailments chose death over life as well. Maybe life is not all that beautiful to everyone as we can think. Maybe life does become a pain for many. Are we just lucky then? Is life all but a matter of luck? A point of view? We all try to fill our life with moments that last a lifetime. Sure, we all want to. We all want to life a "full life", dont we? But what does it imply? Does it mean living longer? What does life mean?

Hard to know, too complex to figure out ourselves, too vague to be preached. Whatever it is, we are closing in on death. A tick at time. Who knows how many (ticks) i have left. How many have you?

Things we do!

Its odd...very odd...i have wanted to blog very badly...but i just could not come up with a post!! I mean usually i'm full of ideas....know-how on how i'd like things to be...but when it comes to blogging i've found myself into a spot of hesitation!! It just feels as if i've got nothing to talk..err...write about!...i do....so what is it? Well, its bout the things we do! How 'bout that?

Let me start by what i mean. I mean, daily we encounter so many things; some repetitive in nature, some new, some strange, some un-wanted, some....well you get the idea, right? So why a blog outta this? I think there's a hidden behaviour pattern in the way we do things that we do. A strange behavioural pattern that is a product of us, of which indirectly we are a product ourselves! I mean, if one says that our actions are a display of ourselves, then are we not a product of our actions!? And if we are, as would seem obvious, then whats a function of what? Are we a function of our behaviour?Or our behaviour a function of us?

Its hard to tell really, isnt it? So what would you do if you found out that there was an event aired on TV--one you could not possibly miss--and at the same time you had to go out, say with your friends(who, by the way, were least interested in that!!)? Just what would you do? Would you call them and tell them the actualities of the situation?Or would you fake a reason?Or would you simply just GO? What would you do? It does not matter what you would, cause whatever you choose to do, you have a acted in a certain way.

So, if you choose to tell them then things as they are, then that means you are honest and would refrain from lying, as you've done over here. No easy way-outs for you, you face things! If you fake a reason that would imply that you know just how important the show is to you, also taking into consideration that your actions might be dis-approved of, so you take the easy way out.However, if you decide to go, then that would mean that acknowledging fully how important it is for you to behave the way your friends (people) expect you to, you decide to give up on your likes and go, even if its a first, still you've taken this decision.

So, now is this a behavioural pattern or just a one-off thing? Well chances are this not a one-off thing! You might have done it before without realising it, or you may do it again, even after swearing to not do it again!! The things we do when we have multiple options, are the things we should watch out for. It is in these decisions we take, however small or "one-off", that we christen ourselves. When we take these decisions, like these, for the first time, we become a function of our beahivour, when we have to take decisions like these again, our behaviour becomes a function of us! We try to re-collect, or if we do re-collect, then we do things exactly in the same manner as we have before when faced with similar conditions, so our behaviour then is a result of how we acted "at that time".

Here then our behaviour depends on our actions then, and so our behaviour is not much different than the previous one, and this is how we establish a behavioural pattern. Our behaviours in most cases from here on start becoming a function of us, that is, we do things the way we expect ourselves to do rather than try to do things differently everytime, ofcourse the behaviour will only be similar or "predictable" only in cases of similar events and not otherwise. When faced with a new thing all together, a new behaviour is potrayed and this time we are function of our behaviour i.e. we behave not by instincts or impulse but by thinking & then acting accordingly. Again when this situation is faced later on, or a similar one chances are we would act more or less in the same way as we had "at that time".

To really try and figure out whether we are a function of our behaviour or our behaviour a function of us, we could say, that first time doings are always without histories and experience and in void of that we become a function of our behaviour, i.e. a product of how we've acted and not acted because of who we are, cause we have not faced this thing before at all. When we have, however, faced the circumstances before and we act exactly like the previous time, then it means that we now have behaved like this because of who we are, and this is how we would behave and here then our behaviour becomes a function of us.

There is, however, one assumption in the whole process of identifying the functions and the constants! It has to be assumed that we are ever-defining, evolving,and learning from our past. Wait or is that what mankind has been all-about? Now, its a different thing if you ask those who've been to war, but otherwise, pretty much!!

Let me know what you think, i hope i've not confused you too much!