And for an evening they stiched.....

All I could hear today, this morning, well maybe had i been out long enough, all day long, was "did you see?!!!!!" There was a sense of disbelief in those words, dint matter who spoke them. "Yes!!" And a sense of rejoice, dint matter who replied either. All those who asked questions asked this, all those who replied, replied this. I cant remember the last time so many people must have called in sick, called in sick just so that they could watch one solitary match. But, come to really think 'bout it, it was more than just a match, it just somehow seemed to be the answer to the embarrassment suffered in March earlier this year.

How can you forget a day like this?! How can you afford to miss a match like this?! Well, some just could'nt make the "grade". Could'nt call in sick, had to work. Trying to concentrate on the job on hand and at the same time trying to keep those ever zealous eyes and ears away from the tv and radio sets. It was sure difficult, sheer difficult. Sure it was 4 years back we last reached the World Cup Finals, but the last time we lifted it was 24!! Thats a longtime. All i could manage for the mega event was a finale of say, 25 minutes! Yeah, thats it. But all the while you return from your office to your tv sets back home there was no one who was not taking about it.

Suddenly, the trains were emptier than before. I guess people had "eloped" from their workplaces just to be a part of this mega event. More than the fact that it was such a mega event, it was the hope that a bunch of 20 somethings would, from being not even contenders, go onto lift one of the trophies of their lifetime! They did eventually.

I had never watched India lift a trophy that said "World Cup". Not many others had either. So i wanted to go home and see it "LIVE", as live as can be! So, i finish my work and head back home with the match already begun. The score seems to be even. Not much to choose between the sides in the first innings itself. And as you trot back home, evading the Tv shops on the way back home, you just cant help but take a glance or two. Get the scores updated and continue on your way back home. Wanting to reach as quickly as possible. So i took the train. It was raining. Raining quite heavily. But its rained like this before. It gotten ugly as well. If uve ever stayed in Mumbai you'll know that with the downpours and people dangling on the footboards of the trains, its a great combination for a fight, BINGO!! No one wants to get wet. Some people inevitably do and then people fight. Everyone knows that they are all helpless, helpless cause of a careless Govt. but they still fight each other....arrgh!! There i go again, thats a topic for another day.

It rained badly as well yesterday. But no one was fighting. Perhaps, it was the match that got them so engrossed of the events far out in South Africa, so much so that they dint care if they were getting drenched helplessly again in the city rains. Inside the train, there were groups of say 8-10 men, 2-3 groups maybe,all of them in a huddle (resembled the Indian huddle for a while) listening to the scores. It was not being aired on the radio, i think, so there were these guys with their GPRS mobiles constantly refreshing their web-pages and screaming the scores. "OUT!!OUT!!" cried one man. The crowd got excited. Then, the other huddles confirmed and now everyone was happy. The Pakistanis were batting. "They are going a good rate, we have to take all 10(wickets)" said one. Normally, it would have the same man who would have been fighting with me by now,the train(although comparatively empty) was still crowded nonetheless and I was literally on that guys feet. But he said those words, smiled and then looked at me with those eyes, eyes which made me wonder if he wanted me to reply back.

"Yeah, we dont much of a total to defend!" He seemed happy with my involvement. Then--(I ride in "First Class" compartment) with only a steel grill separating the 1st class and the 2nd class compartment, anything said in either compartments was sure to be heard in the other-- someone from the 2nd class compartment yelled, "OUT!!" Suddenly, the GPRS dudes( lets call 'em that) frantically started "refreshing" (I'd like to thank Mr. Gates for the word). They confirmed and again, joy spread through out the compartment. Everyone was celebrating, and then again someone yelled, "OUT!!OUT!!OUT!!" 2wickets in a quick succession, two wickets, more than twice the joy!!

Suddenly, and astonishingly for the first time in my 6 year train travel i saw the people from the two compartments(aforementioned) almost seemingly transcend "grills" and interact as if there were none! All of a sudden, everyone was talking to someone! Some wise cracks started giving their interim match "expert opinions". No one really cared from that time on about anything else but to concentrate on one thing and one thing only, THE MATCH. Wickets kept tumbling and people kept on cheering. Some fours were hit, the "dudes" confirmed this after every "refreshment"(Mr. Gates again, with some amendments of my own). Almost reaching my station, the mood in the train was jubilant. Everyone was cocksure that the 24 year old wait would finally end. I started speaking to strangers,and even though those talks lasted a few coinciding,overlapping minutes inside a train, that was something I'd normally not do. Others, many others, would'nt either. But they did.

And I got down, walking as quickly as i could, headed out of the station and then took a rickshaw to my place. I spoke to the auto-driver as well!! I was really different. The streets seemed to be filled with hope and joy, both at the same time. In the rick, the driver asked me to update him, I unhesitatingly did. Came home, watched the match, saw the team win it, saw all the match presentations and then get back to my usual self. And as I lie in my bed, all I could think was the craziness in the train. I mean, I had a 60-65 year old next to me and a 30-35 year old man on the other side, and both equally "into" the match. So was I, a 20 year old lad.(I pronounce it "laad", the English way, sorta, I love the accent!!)

The next day people, there were many in the trains again, but not many spoke to each other. Everyone was busy with their own selves, I had my earphones plugged, some deep into their slumber, some buried in the newspapers, others just looking away from each other. And I realised, that these 20 somethings from our country out there in S Africa managed to do something unbelievable. Its the love for the game really, but then, they had to win it to evoke the love again. And they did. And so also did they, for an evening, stitch these self-absorbed individuals(myself including) into a NATION. Now, everything is back to "normalcy".

Whats up, Bollywood?

I'm so definitely not the kinda person who has any right whatsoever to talk 'bout Bollywood. I find it hard enough to tell one from song from the other (one hindi song from some english song that is). I rarely see Hindi movies but a lot of that has a lot to do with whatever the hell is up with Bollywood. I mean, its not that long ago when i used to watch Hindi movies and rubbish the English ones, but now, its the other way around, totally, permanently.

Let me start with how Bollywood was once a surreal place. All originals (well, most of 'em), brilliant directors, unreal music and of-course the lyrics were a rose petal touch to th ears. Over the years, the rose has dried out and the thorns keep rubbing your body, pricking one spot at a time. I mean, who can forget Nargis from her Mother India role? How about Sholay? That movie is still a crowd-puller. I, many others as well, would still watch it, atleast for sometime, if not the entire length.

Now, thats enough said and done. Fast forward about 3 odd decades from the Jay aur Viru ki jodi and you are devastated to see the plight of Bollywood. You've got Rakhi Sawant claiming to be an actress (I'm not a Christain, but still, Father please forgive her, for she know not what she (modified) claims) and you see Om Puri showing off his belly button in a saree in the same movie, you definitely know you've landed in hell.

Most of these Hindi movies are a total rip-off of Hollywood flicks. Let me start by giving some examples, say for instance, there was this one movie Awaraa Pagal Deewana starring Akshay Kumar, Suniel Shitty Shetty and others "superstars". Now, there in this film from the very outset the director wants his audience to know that he's not put a lot of money(or thought for that matter) into his action sequences. His first fight scene (forgive me if its not that first one) is like watching Matrix part 1, dubbed in Hindi, with bad looking people all over the place. Then, going forward, the movie slowly unveils how, Akshay Kumar is the bad don, the whole of India is looking for, taking refuge in America and how, he ends up meeting a dentist, whose assistant is totally nuts 'bout dons, and they don't come much better than Akki himself. Now, this reminds me of the Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry starer Hollywood flick, The Whole Nine Yards. Same story, there even a rose tattoo planted on Akki's neck, which has a close resemblance to that of Willis'. Now, whats up with this?

Then, coming suddenly to the latest movie starring Sushmita Sen, and Shiny Ahuja Zindagi Rocks. Not really!! The movie was crap, bout a rock star, and thats all you wanna know 'bout it. Trust me! There was a song in it, which is a total rip-off of Shakira's video. Now, how pathetic is this? Then we have the latest craze doing rounds, the Shahrukh Khan starer Chak De India. Now, its got great reviews, but somewhere in between those reviews the critics just let go of the part where they should tell the readers that this movie is "based" on the Kurt Russel one, Miracle. Now, theres a scene in both the movies where the coach makes his players run their butts off till they all claim to being playing for their countries. No marks for guessing which movie was out first. No. Not even a consolation prize.

Ok, let me stop the embarrassment, but this is really pathetic.

(My inner voice : One more, one more) (Me : Alright, just one more)
Now, this one's the best. Whats the height of copying someone else's movie, (let alone if thats David Fincher) and make your own Fight Club. How cool is that?

(Interrupted) "Hey thats not right!!"

(Me) "Who the hell are you?!!"

(Interrupter) "I'm Bollywood.The Entire Bollywood fraternity. The same one who found the Sanju Baba sentence preposterous, but find nothing wrong in someone blatantly lifting someone else's work, that work that we've wanted to excel in all our life."

(Me) "So, WTF, you doing here anyways?"

(The Entire B'wood) "That movie had nothing common, except the name my friend. Besides, don't you think you've thrown enough mud on Bollywood today? I mean, c'mon, take a break, get at us some other day."

(Me) "But that sucks. I mean, dude..(i by default call everyone a dude, ive noticed it makes people feel nice)..c'mon...ive not even begun talking 'bout the "inspired" songs. Ive not even mentioned Anu Malik. Or, how i almost heard Shaggy in the Partner track (you're my love). Hey, reminds, what kinda bloody theft of ideas is Partner?!!!!"

(The Entire Bollywood) "Hey man, uve gotta chill. You should know that we've reached a certain point in our lives where most of us have started to admire works of art and see how far we can assimilate that into our Bollywood. You know, this way, even those who dont watch Hollywood can have access to the best in Cinema, be it from the West or East. Bollywood caters to everyone, anyhow!!"

(Me) "Okie man, will surely think of the latest admission and claims you lay. Gotta go now, will be back. You gonna be there too?"

(The Entire Bollywood) "Yeah sure, just call me, ill be there"

Boys dont "AWWWW..."

I believe it has been a common presumption, unless you were born with the wrong set of genitals, that boys dont awww. There are so many of these issues, situations perhaps is more apt, where you would find the girls and boys reacting in a very different manner, so different that it yells out the difference in perception. Again, another thing that ive been hearing for a long longtime is that, men dont cry. I cant seem to figure this out, but still, its been the notion, misguided, ill-thought or otherwise.

This whole thought came to my mind after a fellow-orkutter asked me very recently, what my display pic was all about? Well, i really couldnt explain to him exactly what the case for it was, all i said was, " its jst a very simple innocent pic...love it cos its very "awww".." And then i figure out that boys arent meant to awwww...but i just did. A little feminine side of me, or is it me just being plain thoughtless bout something that im saying on the internet? I drop the latter as an option to my hidden multi-optional answer to this question (im very particular bout what i say), then there are many left, although the "feminine side" is the only other one ive mentioned.

Now reverting to the main issue over here, girls will find a baby cute, boys (mostly referred to as emotional shit-heads by the opposite sex) just dont know how to react. If a baby says something, when it actually cant, girls go nuts--ive seen this--boys might end up saying "ahh!what a dork!" This stuff happens and is for real. Its out there, inside each one of us, each one of us boys. Again, here some guys girls find "show kuute". Boys find them nerds. Thats the basic difference that stems from different set of genitals. Finally an emotional connection is established with whats in your pants today(and forever , at your sole discretion of-course!)

How bout the colours for a change? There are male colours and then, there are female colours. Female colours are mostly and always revolving around PINK. Boys should choose colours that are more of a darkish sorts. Say, BLACK. I hate that colour. I mean, surely its got its importance in the derivation of some other colours, but does that really matter? I mean, why should the girls have all the fun? Girls can have pink, green, turquoise (i used to call it a bull-shit colour while i was still recovering from the Tyler Durden hangover) and then all that the boys are left with is Navy blue, maroon, black, dark green etc etc(what are indeed bull-shit colours!!). I cant seem to understand, why widen the scope of sexual discrimination? Lets keep that to the boardrooms, shall we?

How bout our accessories? I mean, girls can decorate (and redecorate) themselves as if they're a work of art and they'd still be heterosexuals. If the boys did that, they'd be metrosexuals!! How did we (and i speak, apparently, for most of us who actually have a thing in our pants) all of a sudden, just by emulating the women and by being a little more cleaned up, than that has been our tradition lose our basic characteristic? Maybe we should thank Mark Simpson for this.

Well, this is actually a much wider topic, than i previously thought, i shall continue this at an appropriate time. Till then, lets sustain traditions and lead ourselves to believe that boys dont awwww...!! Awww (and this ones for the girls)......